I always want to be completely honest and transparent with you; and so I have not made it a secret how I feel about you.
My heart’s desire from the very beginning was just to do everything I can to bless you.
I was reading in Mark 11 this morning, in my daily devotions, and as usual God had a message for me, and I think also for you…
New Living Translation
22 Then Jesus said to the disciples, “HAVE FAITH IN GOD!
23 I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen.
But you must REALLY BELIEVE it will happen and have NO DOUBT in your heart.
24 I tell you, you can pray for ANYTHING, and if you BELIEVE that you’ve received it, it will be yours.
25 But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.”
[In other words, let the past lie in the past and give it ALL over to the LORD (1 Peter 5:7), so you can move forward unhindered.]
Follow Jesus’ Example
12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by a great cloud of ·people whose lives tell us what faith means [witnesses], let us run the race that is before us ·and never give up [with endurance/perseverance].
·We should [Let us] ·remove from our lives [get rid of; cast aside] ANYTHING that ·would get in the way [impedes/hinders us] and the sin that so easily ·holds us back [entangles/clings to us].
2 Let us ·look only to [keep our eyes on] Jesus, the ·One who began [Pioneer/Founder of; or Leader/Prince of] our faith and who ·makes it perfect [completes it].
He ·suffered death on [endured] the cross, ·accepting the shame as if it were nothing [disregarding/despising the shame] because of the joy that ·God put before [lay ahead for] him.
And now he is sitting at the right ·side [hand] of God’s throne [1:3; 13; Ps. 110:1].
Jeanette, I believe God’s Word with ALL my heart and I believe you do too.
Sometimes it’s a struggle, for all of us, because we get attacked – just like the people in the world, and that’s why we must ALWAYS put on the armor of God, every single day, especially the helmet of salvation and the shield of faith, to protect us from the fiery darts that the enemy is constantly hurling at us, every day, to try to discourage us, and to try and keep us in fear and doubt.
I didn’t feel like getting up and getting into the scriptures this morning, I’ll be honest with you; but you know I did anyway because I know it’s imperative that I (that we) keep our focus on God and on His Word, especially when going through the storms of life.
Everything I’ve been doing, since the first day I met you, in sending you all the scriptures and teachings, and God’s promises – sometimes even staying up all night praying for you – it’s all because I love you.
The Bible tells us, in Ecclesiastes 4 that, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”
And it has always been my hope and dream that maybe you and I could be a team together because I think we work well together, but it’s becoming increasingly obvious that you just don’t feel the same way towards me, and that’s okay because it’s not a requirement that you have to love me back. I would still do anything for you, regardless of how you feel, because that’s the way God tells us to be, and that’s exactly how He loves us.
I’ve already told you that there’s no strings on anything that I do for you.
But I’ll be honest, I’ve been a little upset with God and I’ve been asking Him well then why did you bring this woman into my life, knowing that I would fall in love with her?
And I even prayed, at one time, and I asked Him if He wanted us to be together and work together, that He would have you contact me.
It was the very next day when you called me and asked me to contact Tim, and so I took that as a sign from God that maybe He does have a plan for both of us together; and everything seemed to be going fine up until a point, and then we hit another roadblock.
The bottom line is, and I say this before God, because He knows my heart, there really is no strings here, I’m going to love you anyway because I can’t help it, and that means also that I love you enough to get out of your life, if it turns out that my feelings for you are being a hindrance that’s keeping you from your healing!
I would love to be in your life, but only if you want me there and it’s what God wants.
I really do think we make a good team together but you decide what you want… it’ll be between you and God.
My biggest prayer right now, for you, is that truly you not let the past, and your fears and hurts from the past, to interfere with the future God has for you, and I mean that whether or not it includes me in your future.
From the bottom of my heart, I just want to see you healed, happy and living a long life!
I would do anything to try and make that possible!
I also know that this is what God wants for you too (because He tells us so in His Word) and I trust God that He will do this for you, whether I’m in your life or not… and that is my sincere desire.
I always will think the world of you and I always love you!